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Home > Archive: August, 2014

Archive for August, 2014

Self Sabotage

August 25th, 2014 at 01:20 pm

I am not doing so well. Everyday I try to go to sleep at a good time. I have two goals everyday. Do something that leads to a new contract/more money and work out to get in better shape.

Every day I get up and the house is a mess or there is no food. I say no problem I'll go to the store and make something and clean up the mess. But then the dogs have to go out. I take them out, clean the mess and say okay after this I'll buy the food to cook and get started with my day.

Then I log on the computer and hours go by because I found some files I want to fix or some new article to read and it goes on. Now I am starving and I've gotten no work done or working out. Now I am so hungry I'm afraid to drive to get food. Then I say well I can't work out and the day is shot so why bother doing anything productive.

I have been getting better about getting out of the funk but I hate it and its consuming all my lead time before I have to increase my hours at my part-time job to keep my husband happy so he gets off my back about money.

I feel all this invisible pressure. I keep trying to make a food plan a work out plan a money money plan but it continues to fall through. Frown

This is more of a vent because things are getting better a bit but its sad that I am this mean to myself. I need to set myself up for success not failure. Why fail when I haven't even really begun yet?

Enjoying my time off

August 15th, 2014 at 12:35 pm

My contract job ended about two weeks ago. Since then I've been busy doing side gigs and cleaning up the house but mostly enjoying my new found time to breathe. My goals are to actually start using my gym membership again and get back into hobbies I enjoy like reading.

I have about a month before I have to amp up earnings in the part time job and side gigs for now its just paying the groceries etc. I have a pretty nice cushion though that I can take from if necessary and it probably will be since rent will be going up in a few months but not by a fantastically large amount.

My updated resume is sitting at the desk of my old boss and HR per their request. The minute anything comes up that they can pick me up for they will. The summer job was promised to someone else apparently and no one told my boss that before she let me know about it. It's all good though everything happens for a reason.

I have a trip coming up soon that's paid off and that will be nice. Also there is a wedding next year that I am attending so that will be interesting.

And I'm more than likely going to be able to use my tax return toward paying the car insurance premium in full. All in all things are looking up and I could get that phone call any day. For now I'm enjoying having days to myself.