Self Sabotage
August 25th, 2014 at 09:20 pmI am not doing so well. Everyday I try to go to sleep at a good time. I have two goals everyday. Do something that leads to a new contract/more money and work out to get in better shape.
Every day I get up and the house is a mess or there is no food. I say no problem I'll go to the store and make something and clean up the mess. But then the dogs have to go out. I take them out, clean the mess and say okay after this I'll buy the food to cook and get started with my day.
Then I log on the computer and hours go by because I found some files I want to fix or some new article to read and it goes on. Now I am starving and I've gotten no work done or working out. Now I am so hungry I'm afraid to drive to get food. Then I say well I can't work out and the day is shot so why bother doing anything productive.
I have been getting better about getting out of the funk but I hate it and its consuming all my lead time before I have to increase my hours at my part-time job to keep my husband happy so he gets off my back about money.
I feel all this invisible pressure. I keep trying to make a food plan a work out plan a money money plan but it continues to fall through.
This is more of a vent because things are getting better a bit but its sad that I am this mean to myself. I need to set myself up for success not failure. Why fail when I haven't even really begun yet?