Today at midnight my one check came in. I had to take so much time off from my part-time job that I didn't even get a paycheck for it this week. I was so worried about this week because my regular paycheck from my contract job would also be short and I had to pay off the balance on CC1 (now clear), and I really wanted to make a large payment to CC2 (now marked as CC). I signed up for a pasta class at my local Sur La Table and I had two more in mind that I wanted to do. I wanted to do a run and another fun event. Plus I have a doctor's appointment coming up and an appointment to check out my car plus having to fill it with a full tank of gas.
I was sitting here racking my mind trying to figure out what possibly way I could do all these things and then it really hit me. I told myself: You don't need to do all of these things and you cannot afford it! You would have to charge it and since charging it would deter you from paying off the cc balance then you cannot afford it. Besides that you have a finite amount of time at your regular contract job. You do however need to refund your EF and you need to pay down your cc balance. You are just going to have to pick a few things and let the others go.
It's just hit me if I want something I will just charge it or try to save less etc to make it happen but right now having paid off two credit cards and being so close to paying off another I realize in order to stop having a balance I need to only get things that I can afford right now, at this moment. Yes there are things I could afford and I could charge them and pay them off by the end of the month but doing that would just take away from paying off a long standing balance on other card. The past two months I have screwed myself out of paying off that card and months before that I was building up an EF. Although I don't feel bad about the EF since if I had paid off the credit card the cost of my medical bills would have just negated what I paid off putting me right back where I started.
I'm just wondering why its been so hard to tell myself no before. Why I couldn't just put my foot down and stick to the plan. Maybe its the whole growing up thing. Maybe its the fact that after paying off my credit card debt once the easy way and now the hard way I've learned my lesson and can finally use them responsibly. Whatever it is I'm glad that it happened and that I am sticking to my guns. Yes I would like learn skills in cooking classes and do fun runs. But I can imagine how much happier I would be in that cooking class knowing its paid off (like the one I will be attending) or doing that run knowing that I was able to pay for it with a debit card than having it sit on a credit card with crazy interest.
I'll be much happier doing these things later when I know choosing to do something fun didn't impede my being able to make a payment that could help to wipe out my debt.
I'm so glad I'm finally sticking to a if you can't afford it than don't buy it plan.
You can't always get what you want
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